MrCranky.com has never reviewed a movie he likes. His rating scale from best to worst is
1 bomb = Almost tolerable
2 bombs = Consistently annoying
3 bombs = Will require therapy after viewing
4 bombs = As good as a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
Ka-BOOM! = So godawful that it ruptured the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity.
Nuke = Proof that Jesus died in vain.
Here's some choice bits from his review of the lastest Star Wars movie, Revenge of the Sith (he gave it 3 bombs):
Ultimately, Anakin chooses the dark side because it has a better health care plan.
If George Lucas has a filmmaking philosophy, it goes something like this: drama + special effects = more drama. By this point in the series, however, audiences have pretty much seen it all, and the only way Lucas could get anyone's attention would be to crash the nitroglycerine planet directly into the enriched uranium planet.
To say that "Revenge of the Sith" is disappointing, given that some of us have invested almost 30 years of our lives in this franchise, is like saying that Catholics were a little sad when the Pope died.