Ad: netjeff recommends
rShopping
app for Android, for your shopping list needs.
|
Compilation of every "warning" email
|
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So
anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got
out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw
a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use
his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a
virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened
an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because
he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to
save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program
will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together
and distribute the $600 Nieman Marcus cookie recipe under the
leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last week in a mass
e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to
everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone
to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot
he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a
note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a
few blocks from the hospital-the one, actually, where that little boy
who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in
the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has
agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him
two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of
an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will have
good luck but ten people you will only have ok luck and if you send it
to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS). So
anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the
way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be
helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of
a gang initiation. And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem
caused the Dark Ages.
Humor collection