-> Humor collection -> You Are Rich, Brother William

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You Are Rich, Brother William
By Jim Pinto 

"You are filthy rich, Bill,
And it's time to fulfill,"
Quoth the devil, "So let's not delay.
You sold me your soul;
You must pay the toll,
And I've come now to take you away!" 

"But, I'm not quite done yet!"
Mr. Gates he did fret,
"There's a lot more to do 'fore I'm done!
Netscape is fried
And Novell almost died--
What's your hurry to spoil all the fun?" 

"You gave me that plea
When I gave you for free
IBM on its knees!" Satan teased.
"You keep wanting more
Than Rockefeller before--
Pray when will you ever be pleased?" 

"That was just at the start!"
Billy clutched at his heart,
"I thought I had done that myself!
You helped just a bit
With that OS/2 shit,
And you put Sculley back on the shelf." 

"How much more do you need?"
The devil decreed.
He spat out some fire and cursed.
"I gave you all the applause
That Windows was yours
When Apple invented it first!" 

"That was only a bone!"
Said Bill with a groan,
"It took me three tries 'fore we got it!
And then Win 95
Barely kept us alive--
You let Netscape grow to unknot it!" 

"Netscape was not
My domain, you forgot,"
Satan spat. "You got lazy, and late!
Besides, I was the guy
Who let Apple fry
And gave you Jobs' head on a plate!" 

"Now you wait just a bit!"
Said young Billy, and spit,
"Who brought on NetPC and Java?
This monopoly stuff,
Isn't that quite enough?
Do I need fire and brimstone and lava?" 

"This Java's a shove
From the big guy above!"
Says the ghoul as his fiery breath fades.
Bill replied, "We can stop it,
We'll easily drop it,
It won't work with Explorer upgrades!" 

"Please give me more time,
I am still in my prime!"
Pleaded Billy, "I've lots more to do!
Tweak Ellison's nose,
Stomp on Justice's toes,
WebTV and then Hollywood, too! 

"Next we'll make a mess;
We'll take over the press
Move the White House to Redmond--the best!
That just leaves the Church,
That's the end of your search!"
And Satan was really impressed! 

"Your plan is sublime,
I'll give you more time."
And the fiend disappeared with a nod.
Said young Bill with a smile,
"Just give me a while."
When the devil was gone ... he called God. 


Jim Pinto is president of Action Instruments Inc. More of his writings
are available on their web site at
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