-> Humor collection -> Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases

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Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases

"It has long been known..."
        *Really means:*  I didn't look up the original references

"A definite trend is evident..."
        *Really means:*  Interesting to me

"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these
        *Really means:*  An unsuccesful experiment, but I still hope to
get it published

"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study..."
        *Really means:*  The results of the others didn't make any sense

"Typical results are shown..."
        *Really means:*  The best results are shown

"These results will be shown in a subsequent report..."
        *Really means:*  I might get around to this if I'm pushed

"The most reliable results are those obtained by Jones..."
        *Really means:*  She was my graduate assistant

"It is believed that..."
        *Really means:*  I think

"It is generally believed that..."
        *Really means:*  A couple of other guys think so too

"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete
understanding of the phenomenon occurs..."
        *Really means:*  I don't understand it

"Correct within an order of magnitude..."
        *Really means:*  Wrong

"It is hoped lthat this study will stimulate further investigation in
this field..."
        *Really means:*  This is a lousy paper, but so are all the others
on this miserable topic

"A careful analysis of obtainable data..."
        *Really means:*  Three pages of notes were obliterated when I
knocked over a cup of coffee

Categories for this item: Education, Language -> Humor collection -> Dictionary of Useful Research Phrases