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Mars Air Force Denies Stories of UFO Crash
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[ Note: The Mars Pathfinder probe landed on Mars in 1997 just ]
[ outside of Ares Vallis. ]
Valles Marineris (MPI) - A spokesthing for Mars Air Force
denounced as false rumors that an alien space craft crashed in
the desert, outside of Ares Vallis on Friday. Appearing at a
press conference today, General Rgrmrmy The Lesser, stated that
"the object was, in fact, a harmless high-altitude weather
balloon, not an alien spacecraft".
The story broke late Friday night when a major stationed at
nearby Ares Vallis Air Force Base contacted the Valles Marineris
Daily Record with a story about a strange, balloon-shaped object
which allegedly came down in the nearby desert, "bouncing"
several times before coming to a stop, "deflating in a sudden
explosion of alien gases". Minutes later, General Rgrmrmy The
Lesser contacted the Daily Record telepathically to contradict
the earlier report. General Rgrmrmy The Lesser stated that
hysterical stories of a detachable vehicle roaming across the
Martian desert were blatant fiction, provoked by incidences
involving swamp gas. But the general public has been slow to
accept the Air Force's explanation of recent events, preferring
to speculate on the "other-worldly" nature of the crash debris.
Conspiracy theorists have condemned Rgrmrmy's statements as
evidence of "an obvious government cover-up", pointing out that
Mars has no swamps.
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