netjeff.com Humor collection Astrological signs for the workplace

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a
marketing degree to avoid having to study in college,
concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is
pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.

SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing
without a degree." You are also self centered and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money,
you like to avoid contact with customers so you can
"concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal
life, you are instead content to completely control
everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU
don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can.
It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in
school. It is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads
are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself;
your office is full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets.
However, we all know what is really causing your "carpal
tunnel syndrome."

ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school. You
are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most
feared person in the organization; combined with your
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to
confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip
within the organization.  Possibly the only other person
that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return
any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have
lunch AND then mail a letter.

MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet
completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number
of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to
marry other "Middle Managers" as everyone in you social
circle is a "Middle Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT: (See above - Same sign, different title)

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a
fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children
very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for
your room and a headset so you could pretend to play
"Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions,
your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

CONSULTANT: Lacking any specific knowledge, you use acronyms
to avoid revealing your utter lack of experience. You have
convinced yourself that your "skills" are in demand and that
you could get a higher paying job with any other
organization in a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity
contemplating these career opportunities without ever taking
direct action.

RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER": As a "person" that profits from the
success of others, you are disdained by most people who
actually work for a living.  Paid on commission and
susceptible to alcoholism, your ulcers and frequent heart
attacks correspond directly with fluctuations in the stock
market.

PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO: You are brilliant or lucky. Your
inability to figure out complex systems such as the fax
machine suggest the latter.

GOVERNMENT WORKER: Paid to take days off. Government workers
are genius inventors, like the invention of new Holidays.
They usually suffer from deep depression or anxiety and
usually commit serious crimes while on the job... Thus the
term "GO POSTAL".

netjeff.com Humor collection Astrological signs for the workplace