netjeff.com Humor collection Things my mother taught me

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the
store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that
way."

My mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
If you don't pass the spelling test, you'll never get a job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLANGE...
What are you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk Back
to me!"

My Mother  taught me HUMOR....
When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me to BECOME AN ADULT...
If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me about SEX...
"How do you think you got here?"

My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS.....
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE....
When you get to my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION....
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...
"You are going to get ______ when we get home."

And my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE...
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like
YOU...then you'll see what it's like."

netjeff.com Humor collection Things my mother taught me