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Management speak

Management Speak: I'm glad you asked me that.
Translation: Public relations has written a carefully phrased answer.

Management Speak: That's very interesting.
Translation: I disagree.

Management Speak: "I don't disagree."
Translation: "I disagree."

Management Speak: I don't totally disagree with you.
Translation: You may be right, but don't push it.

Management Speak: You have to show some flexibility.
Translation: Just do it. 

Management Speak: Help me to understand.
Translation: Just do it. 

Management Speak: In a perfect world....
Translation: Just get it out the door working or not.

Management Speak: You need to see the big picture.
Translation: Just get it out the door working or not.

Management Speak: The die is cast. I am adamant about this, and  
there is no room for further discussion.
Translation: The requirements may change tomorrow.

Management Speak: We're going to follow a strict methodology here.
Translation: The requirements will change tomorrow.

Management Speak: We have to put on our marketing hats.
Translation: The requirements will change hourly.

Management Speak: We have an opportunity.
Translation: You're working weekends.

Management Speak: We have to leverage our resources.
Translation: You're working weekends.

Management Speak: We need an architect for this project.
Translation: You're working weekends.

Management Speak: Your project is on hold.
Translation: We'll make it a demo.

Management Speak: Lets make it a demo.
Translation: Your project is on hold.

Management Speak: I'd like your buy-in on this.
Translation: Your to blame when this thing bombs.

Management Speak: We're on Web time.
Translation: We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future
we shall do something completely different.

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netjeff.com -> Humor collection -> Management speak