netjeff.com Humor collection Oh God, I'm An Ocean Buoy

[ Note:  This appeared 4 days after John Denver's death ]

Oh God I'm An Ocean Buoy
-not by John Denver

(Sing to the tune of "Thank God I'm a Country Boy")

Took a flight from the farm
and I never came back
Built a plane from a kit
But I didn't have the knack
Jumped in the cockpit
and downed a six-pack
And now I'm an ocean buoy

Well, I grabbed the controls
And I started to fiddle
Got flames coming up
On my face like a griddle
Air flight ain't nothing
But a funny, funny riddle
So now I'm an ocean buoy.

Well, my head's chopped in pieces
And my body's full of dents
They'll identify me
By my guitar's fingerprints
I tried to "dry out"
But instead got a rinse
And now I'm an ocean buoy

Well, it's really farrr out
When you're down 'neath the water
I just ain't been right
Since I started on the bottle
I reach for Jim Beam
But instead grab the throttle
And now I'm an ocean buoy

Well, I grabbed the controls
And I started to fiddle
Got flames coming up
On my face like a griddle
George Burns appeared beside me
and we prayed just a little
Oh God!  I'm an ocean buoy!

The day's just about over
And I'm sinking kinda low
In the undersea world
of Jacques Cousteau
Calypso can you find me
By the bubbles that I blow
'Cause now I'm an ocean buoy

netjeff.com Humor collection Oh God, I'm An Ocean Buoy