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Helen's husband had a terrible habit of letting go with an
absolutely GIGANTIC fart every time he woke up in the morning. His wife's
warnings that one day he was going to fart his guts right out had
no effect on Sam.
One Thanksgiving morning Helen was up early preparing turkey dinnerwhen
the perfect way to stop Sam's disgusting habit came into her
head. She took the giblets from the turkey, snuck into the bedroom,and
very carefully dropped them down the back of Sam's shorts.
Sam work up and cut a huge fart, but when he rolled over onto his
back he felt something strange. Fearing the worse, he ran into the
bathroom, and Helen was gratified to hear a terrifying shriek
through the closed door.
When she came up the stairs to check on him, Sam was white as a
ghost and dripping with sweat. Holding up two fingers, he said,
"My God, Helen, you were right! I farted my guts right out, but by
the grace of God and these two fingers I got 'em all back in!!!"
_______________________________________________________________________Bonus
Fart:
Martin had just met his girlfriend, when she asked him to go over
to her place for dinner to meet her parents. Not wanting to make
a bad impression, he goes over.
After he has been sitting at the table for a while, he feels an
incredible pain in his stomach and has to let a fart go. Just
then, the family's dog, Fido, walks under the table and his tail
bumps Martin's leg. This kind of scares Martin and he lets a littlefart
go. Suddenly his girlfriends mother yells "Fido!!"..
Martin is relieved "This is great, he thinks, I can fart all I wantand
they'll blame it on the dog!!"
So Martin lets a bigger fart go, sure enough the mother yells at
the dog.. After farting twice Martin feels much better, and decidesif he
lets one more fart go he'll feel a lot better. So he lets
a huge ripping fart go, this time the mother looks furious with
the dog. Martin is finding this pretty funny until the mother
yells, "Fido, get out from under the table before he shits all overyou!!!!!"
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