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There once was an consultant who lived her whole life
without ever taking advantage of any of the people she
worked for. In fact, she made sure that every job she did
resulted in a win-win situation.
One day while walking down the street she was tragically
hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven
where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get
settled in though it seems we have a problem. You see,
strangely enough, we've never once had an consultant make
it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the consultant.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're
going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in
Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to
spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay
in Heaven"
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the
consultant in an elevator and it went down-down-down to
hell. The doors opened and the consultant found herself
stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf
course. In the distance was a country club and standing in
front of her were all her friends - fellow consultants that
she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening
gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on
both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an
excellent round of golf and at night went to the country
club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster
dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda
cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing.
The consultant was having good time that before she knew
it, it was time to leave.
Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on
the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly
Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven."
So the consultant spent the next 24 hours lounging around
on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great
time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St.
Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in
heaven. Now you must choose your eternity."
The consultant paused for a second and then replied, "Well,
I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been
really great and all, but I think I had a better time in
Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the
consultant went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors
of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a
desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw
her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the
garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the consultant, "yesterday
I was here and there was a golf course and a country club
and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now
all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look
miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled, "That's because
yesterday we were recruiting you, but today you're staff."
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