-> Humor collection -> You might be an engineer if:

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You might be an engineer if:

If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"

If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys

If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts

If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
find the burnt-out bulb in the string

If you window shop at Radio Shack

If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area

If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that  actually takes five minutes to run

If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment

If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside

If a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna
on the radio in your work area for better reception

If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid

If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project

If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts

If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it

If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile

If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
turns bread into charcoal

If you have more toys than your kids

If you need a checklist to turn on the TV

If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name

If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up
to the front to fix it

If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and
have seen most of the shows already

If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN
stands for

If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up
thinking that was normal.

If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

If people groan at the party when you pick out the music

If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time

If you did the sound system for your senior prom

If your checkbook always balances

If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her

If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life

If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission

If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work

If you spend more on your home computer than your car

If you know what http:/ stands for

If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio

If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your

If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest
satellite weather picture with yours

If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory

If your lap-top computer costs more than your car

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