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You might be an engineer if:
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If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to
find the burnt-out bulb in the string
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that actually takes five minutes to run
If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door
opener and your camera's flash attachment
If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
If a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna
on the radio in your work area for better reception
If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires
If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
turns bread into charcoal
If you have more toys than your kids
If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up
to the front to fix it
If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and
have seen most of the shows already
If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN
stands for
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV
with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up
thinking that was normal.
If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
If you did the sound system for your senior prom
If your checkbook always balances
If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers
If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
If you spend more on your home computer than your car
If you know what http:/ stands for
If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your
garage
If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing their latest
satellite weather picture with yours
If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory
If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
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