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At a Santa Fe gas station:
We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.
In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.
On a movie theater:
Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with child.
In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.
In the offices of a loan company:
Ask about our plans for owning your home.
At a number of military bases: Restricted to unauthorized personnel.
On a display of "I love you only" valentine cards:
Now available in multi-packs.
On a shopping mall marquee: Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced
Outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.
In the window of an Oregon store:
Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?
In a New Jersey restaurant: Open 11 AM to 11 PM midnight.
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers
from any but their own graves.
MORE STUPID SIGNS ....
* At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation:
"Eat here and get gas."
* At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
* In a New Hampshire jewelry store:
"Ears pierced while you wait."
* In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the
manager."
* In a Michigan restaurant:
"The early bird gets the worm!"
"Special shoppers' luncheon before 11:00 AM."
* On a delicatessen wall:
"Our best is none too good."
* On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."
"-- Sisters of Mercy"
* On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaning store:
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."
* In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
* On a movie theater:
"Children's matinee today. Adults not admitted unless with
child."
* In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed!"
* In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."
* On a New York loft building:
"Wanted: Woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor."
* In the office of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
* In a New York medical building:
"Mental health prevention center."
* In a toy department:
"Five Santa Clauses -- no waiting."
* On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
* On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices
and workmanship."
* At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
* In a number of parking areas:
"Violators will be enforced and Trespassers will be violated."
* On a display of "I Love You Only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs."
* In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machines do the dirty
work."
* In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."
* On a window of a New Hampshire hamburger restaurant:
"Yes, we are open. Sorry for the inconvenience."
* In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
* In a Tacoma, Washington, men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits - $10.00 - They won't last an hour!"
* On an Indiana shopping mall marquee:
"Archery tournament. Ears pierced."
* In the bathroom of a large apartment building:
"When taking showers, please leave the bathroom door a jar.
This will prevent the plaster from peeling."
* Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
* On a Pennsylvania highway:
"Drive carefully: Auto accidents kill most people from 15 to
19."
* In downtown Boston:
"Callahan Tunnel/No. End."
* In the window of an Oregon general store:
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?"
* In a Massachusetts parking area reserved for birdwatchers:
"Parking for birds only."
* In a New Jersey restaurant:
"Open 11:00 AM to 11:00 PM Midnight."
* In front of a New Hampshire restaurant:
"Now serving live lobsters."
* On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."
* On a movie marquee:
Now Playing:
Adam and Eve
with a cast of thousands!
* In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual
light is extinguished."
* In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their
own graves."
* On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."
* On the grounds of a private school:
"No trespassing without permission."
* In a library:
"Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public
stops taking it away."
* On a Tennessee highway:
"Take Notice: When this sign is under water the road is
impassable."
* Similarly in a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time you wash your car."
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