netjeff.com Humor collection Things you'd love to say at work, but can't!

- And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...? 
- Do I look like a people person? 
- This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 
- I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 
- If I throw a stick, will you leave? 
- You!... Off my planet! 
- Does your train of thought have a caboose? 
- Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? 
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 
- A PBS mind in an MTV world. 
- Allow me to introduce my selves. 
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 
- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 
- See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. 
- Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage. 
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 
- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 
- Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't 
  fallen asleep yet. 
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 
- Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 
- How do I set a laser printer to stun? 
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paycheck. 

netjeff.com Humor collection Things you'd love to say at work, but can't!