netjeff.com Humor collection Pickup Lines

That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...

Do you want to see something swell?

Hey babe....do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?

Drop 'em.

What do you like for breakfast?

Is that a double ended dilldo or are you just glad to see me?

Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you.
Can I call you or nudge you?

Excuse me. Do you wanna f**k or should I apologize?

Irish : Have you got a little Irish in you?
She:  Uh...no....
Irish: Well, do you want some?

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate
 and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

Say, didn't we go to different schools together?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about
 the first thing that pops up?

I had a friend who used to hand out calling cards which said:
      Smile if you want to sleep with me
 then watch the victim try to hold back her smile...

Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far?

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us

I had a friend give a card that on the front:
        1       2       3       4
                Pick a number
and then on the back of the card it read:
                Sex maniacs always pick 3
you wouldn't believe how many women pick 3. It was a great card.

You smell wet.  Let's Party.

Pardon me miss, but I couldn't help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

Would you like to dance, or should I go fuck myself again?

Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

At the office copy machine:
 Reproducing eh?  Can I help?

Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

netjeff.com Humor collection Pickup Lines