-> Humor collection -> Obscene Night Before Christmas

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Obscene Night Before Christmas

This christmas card was left on my desk!!
The front reads:
Season's Greetings
Money's short,
Times are hard.
Here's your fucking
Christmas card.
The verse inside reads:
T'was the night before Christmas
And all through the house,
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse.
Mum at the whorehouse
And Dad smoking Grass,
I'd just settled down
For a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my peice
To see what was the matter.
Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick,
I know in a moment
It must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment
The fucker had fell.
He filled all our stockings
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, The Queer.
He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all
And have a hell of a night.

-- posted by Kim R Fewings (ulkrf(at)
Categories for this item: Holidays, Christmas -> Humor collection -> Obscene Night Before Christmas