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Murphy's Laws for Frequent Flyers

1.  No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the
    delay to make the flight.

2.  If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest
    gate within the terminal.

3.  If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

4.  Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

5.  If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon
    as you touch pen to paper.

6.  If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on
    the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area.  Just
    look for the two largest passengers.

7.  Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to
    the lavatory.

8.  The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

9.  The best-looking man/woman on your flight is never seated next to you.

10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on
    luggage passengers will bring aboard.
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