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Microsoft = "The Matrix"?
[ T H E D A I L Y P R O B E ]
Please attach the following line to any forwarded portions:
[ Copyright 1999 by Chris White firstname.lastname@example.org ]
HMMM...THIS SOUNDS *AWFULLY* FAMILIAR...
November 10, 1999
WASHINGTON DC (DPI) - Government prosecutors in the Matrix
anti-trust suit went a long way towards scoring a victory today
when judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that the Matrix was indeed
a monopoly. The Justice Department established that the Ruling
Race of Sentient Machines (the Redmond, Washington-based controlling
entity of the Matrix) were able to inhibit fair marketplace practice
by controlling every aspect of the waking and dream world.
"By placing humans in fluid-filled containers hooked up as giant
batteries living out a computer-generated existence, they have made
competing realities by startup companies virtually impossible.
Additionally, they control the breeding fields, making access to
the human race very difficult. Anyone who wanted to enslave mankind
by setting up their own operating system for the world found
themselves in for a nasty surprise" explained the Government's lead
prosecutor Thomas "Neo" Anderson. "The Ruling Race of Sentient
Machines may point to one or two people who operate outside the
Matrix as proof of a level playing field, but as those outside will
tell you, the Machines do every thing they can to squash the
competition quickly." Antitrust experts are divided as to whether
or not the Matrix will settle. "As Justice did such a bang-up job
proving," says Duke professor Arnold Manchester, "we are nothing
more than blobs spending our lives in a pool of our own filth.
What is Justice going to do if it does win? They have to face up to
the fact we are no more than giant sea monkeys to the computers and
are really at their will. Besides, except for the occasional glitch,
Matrix is actually fairly beneficial to the consumer."
The Ruling Race of Sentient Machines could not be reached for comment.
- Reported by Davejames