-> Humor collection -> Microsoft's 12 steps to burnout prevention and recovery

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Microsoft's 12 steps to burnout prevention and recovery

     1. STOP DENYING.  Listen to the wisdom of your body.  Begin to freely
     admit the stresses and pressures which have manifested physically,
     mentally, or emotionally.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Work until the physical pain forces you into

     2. AVOID ISOLATION.  Don't do everything alone!  Develop or renew
     intimacies with friends and loved ones.  Closeness not only brings new
     insights, but also is anathema to agitation and depression.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Shut your office door and lock it from the inside
     so no-one will distract you.  They're just trying to hurt your

     3. CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES.  If your job, your relationships, a
     situation, or a person is dragging you under, try to alter your
     circumstances, or if necessary, leave.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: If you feel something is dragging you down, suppress
     these thoughts.  This is a weakness.  Drink more coffee. (It's free.)

     4. DIMINISH INTENSITY IN YOUR LIFE.  Pinpoint those areas or aspects
     which summon up the most concentrated intensity and work toward
     alleviating that pressure.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Increase intensity.  Maximum intensity = maximum
     productivity.  If you find yourself relaxed and with your mind
     wandering, you are probably having a detrimental effect on the stock

     5. STOP OVERNURTURING.  If you routinely take on other people's
     problems and responsibilities, learn to gracefully disengage.  Try to
     get some nurturing for yourself.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Always attempt to do everything.  You ARE responsible
     for it all.  Perhaps you haven't thoroughly read your job description.

     6. LEARN TO SAY "NO".  You'll help diminish intensity by speaking up
     for yourself.  This means refusing additional requests or demands on
     your time or emotions.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Never say no to anything.  It shows weakness,
     and lowers the stock price.  Never put off until tomorrow what you can
     do at midnight.

     7. BEGIN TO BACK OFF AND DETACH.  Learn to delegate, not only at work,
     but also at home and with friends.  In this case, detachment means
     rescuing yourself for yourself.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Delegating is a sign of weakness.  Let someone else do
     it (See # 5).

     8. REASSESS YOUR VALUES.  Try to sort out the meaningful values from
     the temporary and fleeting, the essential from the nonessential.
     You'll conserve energy and time, and begin to feel more centered.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Stop thinking about your own problems.  This is
     selfish.  If your values change, we will make an announcement at the
     company meeting.
     Until then, if someone calls you and questions your priorities, tell
     them that you are unable to comment on this and give them the number
     for Microsoft Marketing.
     It will be taken care of.

     9. LEARN TO PACE YOURSELF.  Try to take life in moderation.  You only
     have so much energy available.  Ascertain what is wanted and needed in
     your life, then begin to balance work with love, pleasure, and

     MICROSOFT VIEW: A balanced life is a myth perpetuated by the Borland
     Marketing Team.  Don't be a fool: the only thing that matters is work
     and productivity.

     10. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.  Don't skip meals, abuse yourself with
     rigid diets, disregard your need for sleep, or break the doctor
     appointments.  Take care of yourself nutritionally.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: Your body serves your mind, your mind serves the
     company. Push the mind and the body will follow.  Drink lots of Coke.
     (it's free.)

     11. DIMINISH WORRY AND ANXIETY.  Try to keep superstitious worrying to
     a minimum -- it changes nothing.  You'll have a better grip on your
     situation if you spend less time worrying and more time taking care of
     your real needs.

     MICROSOFT VIEW: If you're not worrying about work, you must not be
     very committed to it.  We'll find someone who is.

     12. KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.  Begin to bring joy and happy moments
     into your life.  Very few   people suffer burnout when they're having

     MICROSOFT VIEW: So, you think your work is funny?  We'll discuss this
     with your manager on Friday.  At 7:00 pm.

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