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Men's Guide to Women's Language

She's says               It means
----------               --------

You want                 You want

We need                  I want

It's your decision       The correct decision should be
                         obvious by now

Do what you want         You'll pay for this later

We need to talk          I need to complain

Sure, go ahead           I don't want you to.

I'm not upset            Of course I'm upset, you moron.

You're so manly          You need a shave and you sweat
                         a lot

You're certainly         Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And   I'm on my period!
I'm not overreacting!

This kitchen is so       I want a new house.

I want new curtains     and new carpeting, and new

I heard a noise         I noticed you were asleep

Do you love me?         I'm going to ask for something

How much do you         I did something today that
love me?                you're really not going to like.

You have to learn to    Just agree with me.

Are you listening       [To late, you're dead!]
to me??

Yes                     No

No                      No

Maybe                   No

I'm sorry               You'll be sorry

I'm not yelling         Yes, I'm yelling because I think
                        this is important

In response to the question, "What's wrong"

The same old thing.     Nothing
Nothing.                Everything
Everything.             It's my PMS
Nothing, really.        You're such an a$$hole!
I *don't* want to talk  Go away, I'm still building up
about it!               evidence against you!
Categories for this item: Relationships, Language -> Humor collection -> Men's Guide to Women's Language