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*Laws of Love:*
(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you remind them of
someone else.
(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed
in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.
*Beifeld's Principle:*
The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young
female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the
company of:
(1) a date
(2) his wife
(3) a better looking and richer male friend
*Corollaries to Beifeld's Principle:*
(1) There are two kinds of men in this world, nice guys and assholes
(2) Most women are attracted to assholes.
(3) Women that date assholes operate under the faulty assumption that
assholes are basically nice guys underneath, and will stop being assholes
for them.
(4) Assholes rarely stop being assholes for one primary reason - they're
assholes.
(5) Women that marry assholes:
a. suffer through a miserable marriage with the asshole
b. divorce them and:
i. marry another asshole (see #5 for possible scenario)
ii. wise up and marry a nice guy
iii. give up and stay single
c. occasionally have a miracle occur and the asshole actually
changes and become a nice guy (extremely rare)
(6) The number of women who are looking for nice guys is considerably
lower than the supply of them
(7) Nice guys finish last, because they refuse to treat women like shit
and become what they despise (ie, assholes)
(8) Your attraction to someone is directly proportional to their
attraction to someone else (If you're interested, they aren't)
(9) The attraction of someone else to you is inversely proportional to
your attraction to them (If they're interested, you aren't)
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