netjeff.com Humor collection Application for Kentucky citizenship

NAME:
NICKNAME:
RIDGE OR CREEK:
RFD#:
DADDY: (if unknown attach list of suspects)
MAMA:
NECK SHADE:  lt red ( )   med red ( )   dk red ( )
NUMBER OF TEETH SHOWN IN FULL GRIN: Upper:            Lower:
NAME OF PICKUP TRUCK:                  HEIGHT OF TRUCK:
 
TRUCK EQUIPPED WITH:
( ) gun rack        ( ) 4 Wheel drive   ( ) Confederate Flag    ( ) 8-track
( ) load of wood    ( ) Hijacker shocks ( ) Fuzz buster     ( ) Tooth picks
( ) Mudgrip tires   ( ) Spittoon   ( ) Mag wheels      ( ) Dual CB Antenna
( ) Coon tail       ( ) Camper top ( ) Dog with ticks       ( ) Air horn
 
NUMBER OF EMPTY BEER CANS ON FLOORBOARD OF PICKUP:
ARE AT LEAST SOME OF THE PARTS OF THIS TRUCK PAINTED IN THE OFFICIAL STATE
COLOR OF PRIMER RED?    ( ) yes       ( ) no
 
DEFINE THE FOLLOWING: (You must get at least nine out of ten)
1. opposite sex     2. red eye gravy    3. poke   4. pinto beans  5. cracklins
6. sawmill gravy    7. taters           8. cord   9. lasses      10. maters
 
VOCALISTS WHOSE TRACKS YOU'VE BOUGHT OR STOLEN:
( ) Donna Fargo     ( ) Conway Twitty   ( ) Hank Williams   ( ) Porter Wagoner
( ) Loretta Lynn    ( ) Johnny Cash     ( ) Tammy Wynette   ( ) Slim Whitman
( ) George Jones    ( ) Willie Nelson   ( ) Box Car Willie
 
FAVORITE RECREATION
( ) Square Dancing  ( ) Possum Huntin'  ( ) Skinny Dippin'  ( ) Drankin'
( ) Spittin' Backy  ( ) Cat Fishin'     ( ) Other
 
WEAPONS USED
( ) Deer Rifle      ( ) Bird Gun        ( ) Varmit Rifle    ( ) Tire Iron
( ) Choppin' Axe    ( ) Chain Saw       ( ) Skinnin' Knife
 
NUMBER OF HOUND DOGS:
TYPES OWNED: ( ) red bone     ( ) black & tan     ( ) beagle     ( ) blue tick
 
NUMBER OF DOGS NAMED:    Red ( )   Blue ( )    Dog ( )
 
EMBLEM ON BASEBALL CAP:
( ) John Deere      ( ) MF         ( ) Cat        ( ) Pabst Blue Ribbon
( ) NAPA            ( ) Jack Daniels    ( ) Skoal ( ) Rooster Run
 
NUMBER OF DAYS LAST WELFARE CHECK LASTED:
HOW MANY CARS/TRUCKS DO YOU HAVE ON BLOCKS IN YOUR FRONT YARD?
HOW MANY KITCHEN APPLIANCES (WORKING OR NOT) DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR FRONT PORCH?
DO YOU OWN SHOES? ( ) yes     ( ) no
ARE YOU MARRIED TO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING?
( ) your sister     ( ) your cousin     ( ) a farm animal
CAN YOU SIGN YOUR NAME AND GET IT RIGHT EVERY TIME? ( ) yes      ( ) no
HAVE YOU EVER STAYED SOBER FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND? ( ) yes   ( ) no
CAN YOU COUNT PAST 10 WITH YOUR SHOES ON? ( ) yes      ( ) no
DO YOU HAVE AT LEAST TWO OF THE FOLLOWING MEDICAL CONDITIONS?
( ) body odor       ( ) head lice     ( ) crabs   ( ) scabies  ( ) runny nose
( ) trench mouth    ( ) smokers cough ( ) gas     ( ) compulsive nose picking
 
SIGN YOUR NAME OR MAKE YER MARK HERE:
 

netjeff.com Humor collection Application for Kentucky citizenship