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Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Sneak Attack by Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen
Blue Skies Unless its Cloudy
Food is Basic to Student Diet
Man Struck by Lightning faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws his Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents can Drop off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine may Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Include your Children when Baking Cookies
Grandmother of Eight Makes Makes Hole in One
Deaf Mute gets New Hearing in Killing
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
House Passes Gas Tax onto Senate
Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Wiliam Kelly was Fed Secretary
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should be Belted
Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
SOME BECOME UNINTENTIONALLY SUGGESTIVE:
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails--Veterinarian Takes Over
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
Dr Ruth to Talk About Sex with Newspaper Editors
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
GRAMMAR OFTEN BOTCHES OTHER HEADLINES:
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Two Soviet Ships Collide-One Dies
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter
ONCE IN A WHILE, A BOTCHED HEADLINE TAKES ON A MEANING OPPOSITE FROM THE
ONE INTENDED:
Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
Drunk Drivers Paid $1000 in 1984
Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to Do Better
SOMETIMES NEWSPAPER EDITORS STATE THE OBVIOUS:
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
War Dims Hope for Peace
Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Child's Death Ruins Couples Holiday
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Man is Fatally Slain
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation
Humor collection