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Resume for God

Ever wonder what the resume for God would look like? In this day and
age, everyone's having to look for a job. This is an idea of what
God's resume would look like if he were to apply at a computer firm.

RESUME FOR GOD

I, creator and sustainer of all life, have an eternity of experience
in every aspect of everything, including systems design and
integration, and local area networking.

SPECIFIC EXPERIENCE AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I was solely responsible for the development of every standard,
protocol, method, language and type of microprocessor in existence.
I have absolute and complete knowledge of every detail of anything
even remotely connected to computers and data processing, as well as
everything else. I practice structured programming, and use "go
tos" only in reference to Hell. I have extensive supervisory and
leadership experience, and have led teams of over one billion persons
in such major projects as the establishment of civilisation and the
development of organised religion.

OTHER EXPERIENCE

My experience extends from beyond the beginning of time. During
this period I separated the light from the darkness, created the
earth, planets and stars, established the firmament and the waters of
the oceans, and created all the green plants and living things. Later,
I created human life, which many consider to be one of my most
significant accomplishments.

TECHNICAL BACKGROUND

I am thoroughly familiar with every type of computer, every
operating system, every programming language, every communications
system, and every application that has been or will be developed,
including Microsoft Windows 95.

EDUCATION

I hold an honorary Doctorate in Comparative Religions from Oral
Roberts University, as well as current teaching certificates for IBM's
Programmer Productivity seminars.

SALARY REQUIREMENTS

Seeking 10 - 15% increase.
 
---
Written by Bob Dolan of New York (who, as a point of clarity, is 
not actually God)
Categories for this item: Religion, Computers, Workplace, Job Hunting

netjeff.com -> Humor collection -> Resume for God