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Getting even with the IRS
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[Forwards Folded Spindled and Mutilated]
During my short employment tour with the IRS in the mail room, i've
found several harmless ways to mess with them and receive no recourse.
Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put a down
the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the
envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.
Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right
way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove
all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the
left side).
Line the bottom of your envelope with elmer's glue and let it dry
before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open
it and the extractor has to open it by hand.
If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three
party check.
On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you
owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an
amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty
forms.
Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read
and stamped regardless of what it is or what its on.
Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on
the back of a Kroger sack.
When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single
EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than
regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that
they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and
deal with your mess =)
If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to
your half destroyed form.
Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or
the like have to be removed and put away.
Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and
then date stamped.
These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with
the man. These methods are only recommended when you owe money.
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