netjeff.com Humor collection Corporate cliches

 
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to recognize that corporate
America is a leading-edge recycler of tired phrases.  To avoid being
left out of the linguistic loop when colleagues touch base with you, try
working in a word or two from the Devil's Dictionary:
 
  TEAM PLAYER.    An employee who substitutes the thinking of the herd
                  for his own good judgement.
 
  VISION.         Top management's heroic guess about the future, easily
                  printed on mugs, T-shirts and posters.
 
  PARADIGM SHIFT. A euphemism conpanies use when they realize the rest
                  of their industry has expanded in Guangdong, while
                  they were investing in Orange County.
 
  RESTRUCTURING.  A simple plan instituted from above in which workers
                  are right-sized, downsized, surplused or, in the
                  business jargon of yore, fired.
 
  EMPOWERMENT.    A magic wand management waves to help survivors of
                  restructuring suddenly feel in control of their
                  futures.

netjeff.com Humor collection Corporate cliches