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Recently discovered computer viruses
New Viruses recently discovered:
sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about
what it did.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS
quits after one byte
everything in your computer goes goofy
screws up your ram, but your processor doesn't care.
turns your 3.5 inch floppy into a hard drive
BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk
then re- attaches it. (But that part will never work again.)
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what
great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're
paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse
around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN,
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus",
but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see
about possible alternatives.
ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your
system, just before the whole damn thing quits.
MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it
refuses to run.
TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays
resident. It'll be back.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning
any child process without joining into a binary network.
DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your
komputer, ewe jsut cant figyour out watt!
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all
your diagnostic software says everything is fine.