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Found on a BBS in remote Scotland. It's of course from PC magazine.....
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AMAZING WINDOWS 4.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are privileged this month to bring you our long overdue article on
Microsoft's groundbreaking Operating System, the incredible
Windows 4.0. Our exceptional journalistic standards demand that we
preface this article by a restatement of our policy concerning review
of non-shipping products. While our policy has always been that we
would review no product that is not actually shipping at the time of
publication, WE HAVE CHANGED OUR POLICY FOR THIS ISSUE ONLY. Our
policy for this issue is that we will review any product that someone
tells us might possibly be developed at any time in the future. After
this issue, our policy will revert to what it was prior to this issue
until such time that Microsoft begins to again consider their next
edition of software and begins another high-visibility promotion geared
to discourage users from looking at the competition.
We put the wonderful Windows 4.0 operating system through our
grueling bench benchmark program which was magnanimously donated to PC
Labs by Microsoft Corporation. Our test bed was the standard
by platform used most PC users--a Cray Supercomputer with 3
Gigabytes of RAM and a $9000 Windows graphics accelerator card with
512 Megabytes of SRAM. Our testing was made more difficult by the
fact that no actual code was available at the time of the procedure.
We did have available, however, a screen shot of the stupendous Windows
4.0 which we put through its paces. Our staff was speechless over how
pretty the screen shot was. We also had the benefit of the assistance
of 12 Microsoft employees who provided invaluable input, and also took
us to lunch as well as provide us all with free copies of MicroSoft
The tremendous Windows 4.0 was a dream to install. We didn't even have
to open the box! All of our applications were immediately migrated into
the new OS, except the OS/2 applications. They mysteriously
disappeared. We were told that this is a bug in the way that OS/2 apps
are written and that this was IBM's problem. The screen shot scored a
respectable .000001 Winmarks on our testing platform. Microsoft
officials assure us that performance of the actual code promises to be
even better. The only compatibility problem arose when OS/2 for Windows
stubbornly refused to load the screen shot.
Microsoft officials advise us that this was also IBM's problem.
Microsoft officials told us that 4 Megabytes of RAM minimum would
be needed in the release version. However, they also said that they
would recommend 32 Megabytes for typical usage. Microsoft
officials said, and we agree, that all serious PC users will have 32
Megabytes of RAM on their systems by the time Win 4.0 is
released. Windows 4.0 is too sophisticated an OS for those that refuse
to keep up.
We were at first concerned with the reports of the apparent absence of
32-bit code contained in Windows 4.0. However, the Microsoft officials
soon set us straight. Due to Microsoft still having the patent pending
for the new technology, MS officials couldn't tell us how it worked, but
told us of a new Microsoft compression technology. It turns out that all
of the apparent 16-bit code present in Win 4.0 is actually 32-bit bit
code that has been compressed by Microsoft to look like it is only 16
bits. Microsoft officials say that this is the wave of the future in
In summary, we can state without any fear of being accused of
hyperbole that the most excellent Windows 4.0 is the greatest
technological breakthrough since the discovery of fire and the
invention of the wheel (neither of which, unfortunately, is patented
by Microsoft..... yet). The God-like Windows 4.0 ranks right up there
with the other accomplishments of Microsoft, such as the graphical user
interface,the mouse, memory management and on-the-fly disk compression.
It is at this point that we should state PC Magazine's new policy
with regard to software patents, viz., We feel strongly that any
software patent not held by Microsoft is void and bad for the
While we usually don't give awards to products that are not even in
Alpha release, we feel that we have no choice but to award our
prestigious ZIFF-DAVIS Editor's Choice to the awesome Microsoft Windows
4.0. And even though it is only April, we have also given it our
ZIFF-DAVIS Year-End Technical Excellence Award in ALL categories for
the years 1994 through 1999. We expect an even better version of
Windows in the year 2000. So, what are you waiting for?
*Note: All words (except "fire" and "wheel") and all alphanumeric
characters in this article are registered trademarks of Microsoft