netjeff.com Humor collection A particularly bad way to die

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.
Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to
tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today,
and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly
horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife
has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch
her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell
something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where
this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the
balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the
railing, 25 floors above ground!  By now I was really mad, so I
started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he
wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got
a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he
couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even
after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I
couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the
fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing
him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a
heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the
man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being
full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of
my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my
balcony.  Well, this morning I must have slipped or something,
because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the
railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang
on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony.
I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and
kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the
apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands.
Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the
bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was
going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and
crushes me nstantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty
horrible eath.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole
process as repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked
for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a
refrigerator..."

netjeff.com Humor collection A particularly bad way to die