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Regulations for hunting attorneys
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Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC
370.00
370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake
hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for
recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.
370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is
permitted. The use of United States currency as bait,
however, is prohibited.
370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor
vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance
being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally
struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be
removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed
immediately to the nearest car wash.
370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys
from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or
"FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of
BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday
afternoon.
370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs,
hospitals or brothels.
370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not
necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the
same.
370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a
reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax
accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
370.10 Bag and Possession Limits per day: Yellow-bellied
sidewinders, 2; Two-faced tortfeasors, 1; Back-stabbing
divorce litigators, 3; Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4. Honest attorneys protected
(Endangered Species Act).
ARS 8007.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a moving
vehicle unless there are no measurable skid marks at the
kill site.
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