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Babylon 5 Meets Star Trek: The Next Generation
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By dboulter(at)epaus.island.net
Sorry about this, folks, but I got caught up in the B-5 vs ST
thread and this was the only way I knew to escape!!
Location: A room. Lighting: Low. Door Chimes sound.
Bester: Enter.
A man enters and smiles a familiar smarmy smile.
Bester: Who are you?
Morden: What do you want?
Bester: What do you mean?
Morden: What do you want?
Bester looks at him intently then smiles a shiver-down-the-back
producing smile.
Tech 1: Commander, there's something coming through the jump gate.
Ivanova: Is there anything scheduled?
Tech 1: No, Commander.
Ivanova: What the hell? Ivanova to Sheridan, come to C&C immediately.
Tech 1: What is it?
Ivanova: Damned if I know. It has some sort of writing on it, though,
NCC1701-F. Any Idea what that means?
Picard: Commander LaForge, report. What happened?
LaForge: I don't know Captain. Best I can say is we went through
some sort of portal.
Riker: We need more than that Jordi.
LaForge: I'm on it. You have to give me some time, Commander.
Riker: We only have one hour, you know that, LaForge.
LaForge: Aye, sir.
Picard (looking at B-5 on view screen): What do you make of it No.1?
Riker: It's rotating, so they don't seem to have artificial gravity.
They can't be too advanced a civilization. Data, what are you
picking up on sensors.
Data: It is a space station, sir. Sensors show 252,142 life forms -
most of them human, sir.
Picard: Human? Hail them, Mr. Worf.
Worf: Aye, sir. Suggest we go to yellow alert, Captain.
Picard: Yellow alert? Why is that?
Worf: I don't know, sir, it's what I always say.
They are answering our hail, sir.
Picard: On screen.
Sheridan: This is Captain John Sheridan of Earth Alliance Station
Babylon-5. How may we help you?
Picard: I am Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise.
Did you say 'Earth Alliance'?
Sheridan: Yes I did.
Picard: This may sound strange to you, but what is the Star Date?
Sheridan: Star Date? This is 2259, the year the great war came upon
us all.
Picard motions to Worf to cut the audio.
Picard: Well, what do you make of it.
Data: We appear to have crossed over into a parallel universe.
However, our crossover seems to have produced a time shift as well.
Troi: Captain?
Picard: Yes, Deanna?
Troi: Captain, I am sensing a great deal of dislike for us in this
Universe. I think we should get out of it quickly.
Worf: Another ship is coming through to normal space. Suggest we
raise shields. You heard what he said about a great war, sir?
Picard: Very well Mr. Worf, Raise shields.
Worf: Shields will not raise, Captain.
LaForge: I'm working on it, Captain.
Meanwhile
Ivanova: Did you see them, Captain, they all appear to be wearing
pajamas.
Sheridan: Yes, and they appear to be human as well - at least most
of them. Rather impolite of them to turn their backs on
us in the middle of a conversation, don't you think. Now what
was that he said about a Federation? It seems to ring a bell.
Get Garibaldi up here right away! I seem to recall that he
watches old videos and there's something just not right about
this.
Tech 1: Something coming through the jump gate. It's Earth Alliance.
A Psi-Corps officer wishes to talk to you, Captain.
Sheridan: Put him on.
Bester: Good Day, Captain Sheridan.
Sheridan: Mister Bester. What can we do for you?
Bester: We have received word of a rogue telepath. She is on that
ship. We want her.
Meanwhile
Turbo lift opens as Enterprise crew watch exchange between B5 and
Bester.
Scott: I canna believe it. It's Chekov.
Picard: What are you doing here Captain Scott.
Scott: Call me Scotty. I dinna ken, but I've been on every other
Enterprise. Probably something to do with the ratings, laddie.
What's Chekov doing there?
Picard: Who's Chekov?
Scott: I used to work with him on the Original Enterprise. He hardly
seems to have aged a day.
Picard: Computer: Bring up the file on Federation Officer Chekov.
Computer: By your command!
Riker: LaForge!
LaForge: I'm working on it, sir.
Troi: We really should get out of here. We are not liked in this
Universe. Really not liked. And I don't want to go with that man.
He seems to feel that I shouldn't pop in and out of peoples minds.
Let's go. Now!
LaForge: I'm not sure we can. I've found the problem. None of our
technobabble devices work here.
Picard: What are you saying?
Data: What the Commander is saying, is that techobabble will not work
in this Universe, Captain. We are stuck with obeying the laws
of Physics. Only 58.5% of our ships' systems will work here.
Picard: Good God!
Riker: How about a particle of the week? Can that get us out?
Data: No sir. And it gets worse.
Picard: Worse?
LaForge: What Data is trying to say, sirs, is that in this Universe
there is continuity and . . .
All: Continuity?!
Data: And character growth and development
All (in horror): Character growth and development?!
Picard: Set course, warp factor 9, Engage. We have to get back to
our own universe, this Babylon-5 universe is beyond us.
Riker: It's not working and that man Bester is approaching. He's grinning.
Troi: Maybe if I apologized to everyone who's mind I've invaded???
LaForge: We're stuck here, Captain - there's no getting away from them.
We're stuck in a universe with Babylon-5!
Picard: Curse you, Straczynski!
Once again my most insincere apologies. Now that you know what would
happen, can we get off the Enterprise vs B5 merry-go-round?
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