-> Humor collection -> American sex laws currently on the books

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American sex laws currently on the books

     * In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a
       man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
     * It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse
       during sex.
     * In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
       hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
     * No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of
       garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria,
       Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must
       brush his teeth.
     * Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
       allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed
       with you- or holding you in his arms.
     * Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
       members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after
       sundown- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're
       safe from the law!)
     * In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
       have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet
       apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's
       illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!
     * The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
       provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple,
       even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may
       they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white
       cotton nightshirts.
     * An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
       having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer!
     * A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be
       called master, not mister, when addressed by their female
     * In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a
       corset. (There was a civil-service job- for men only- called a
       corset inspector.)
     * However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from
       wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous,
       unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the
       normal, red-blooded American male."
     * It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
       Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window.
       Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must
       drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait
       approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to
     * Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance
       on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three
       pounds, two ounces of clothing.
     * Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying
       their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally
       sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can
       face a jail term.
     * In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
       parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the
       car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
     * A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman,
       you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
     * Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland,
       Ohio- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
     * No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance
       within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can
       be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be
       published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is
       his name revealed.
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