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American sex laws currently on the books
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* In the quiet town of Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a
man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.
* It's against the law in Willowdale, Oregon, for a husband to curse
during sex.
* In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
* No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of
garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria,
Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must
brush his teeth.
* Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed
with you- or holding you in his arms.
* Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after
sundown- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're
safe from the law!)
* In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet
apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's
illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!
* The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple,
even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may
they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white
cotton nightshirts.
* An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer!
* A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be
called master, not mister, when addressed by their female
counterparts.
* In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a
corset. (There was a civil-service job- for men only- called a
corset inspector.)
* However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from
wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous,
unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the
normal, red-blooded American male."
* It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window.
Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must
drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait
approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to
investigate.
* Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance
on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three
pounds, two ounces of clothing.
* Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying
their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally
sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can
face a jail term.
* In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the
car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
* A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman,
you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.
* Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland,
Ohio- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"
* No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance
within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can
be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be
published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is
his name revealed.
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