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Pentium bug jokes

 In case you haven't heard or seen the thread in a newsgroup, it turns out there is a bug in the Pentium chip that causes it to occasionaly loose digits past the fifth decimal place during floating point division.  Intel claims its no big deal for the average user because it only happens once every 9 billion operations.  However, the mathematical and numerical simulation community is very concerned.  If you want the details of the bug let me know and I can forward.

Since the bug was reported, lots of jokes have been written.  Enjoy!

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Intels new motto:  "United We Stand, Divided We Fall"

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At Intel, Quality is Job 0.99989960954

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On the tee-shirt of an inlined skater in Mountain View:   :-)

(Intel Inside logo)

"I asked for a refund on my Pentium, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"

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Q:  What is Intel's follow-on to the Pentium?

A:  Repentium.

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The Pentium doesn't have bugs or produce errors; it's just
Precision-Impaired.

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I heard that Intel lost one of its divisions today...

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Q:  How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Q:  What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a  research grant?
A:  A mad scientist.

Q:  What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
    Pentiums?
A:  The warning label.

Q:  What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A1: Successive approximations.
A2: A random number generator.

Q:  Complete the following word analogy:  Add is to Subtract as Multiply
    is to:
        1)  Divide
        2)  ROUND
        3)  RANDOM
        4)  On a Pentium, all of the above
A:  Number 4.

Q:  What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
A:  "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Q:  Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A:  Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
    585.999983605.

Q:  According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards 754
    and 854 for floating point arithmetic.  If you fly in aircraft
    designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A:  Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

Q:  Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill being developed as a
    replacement for RU-486???
A:  Its called RU-Pentium.  It causes the embryo to not divide correctly.


TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  9.9999973251   It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
  8.9999163362   It's Close Enough, We Say So
  7.9999414610   Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
  6.9999831538   You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
  5.9999835137   Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
  4.9999999021   We Fixed It, Really
  3.9998245917   Division Considered Harmful
  2.9991523619   Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
  1.9999103517   We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
  0.9999999998   The Errata Inside


THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY A PENTIUM MACHINE
============================================
 
10. YOUR CURRENT COMPUTER IS TOO ACCURATE
9.  YOU WANT TO GET INTO THE GUINNESS BOOK AS "OWNER OF MOST
    EXPENSIVE PAPERWEIGHT"
8.  MATH ERRORS ADD ZEST TO LIFE
7.  YOU NEED AN ALIBI FOR THE I.R.S.
6.  YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT
5.  YOU'VE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO BE A
    PLAINTIFF
4.  THE "INTEL INSIDE" LOGO MATCHES YOUR DECOR PERFECTLY
3.  YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CPU OVERHEATING
2.  YOU GOT A GREAT DEAL FROM JPL
1.  IT'LL PROBABLY WORK
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