-> Humor collection -> How the Gingrinch Stole Christmas

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How the Gingrinch Stole Christmas
All the Whos in Whoville took little note,
some listened to fear, some didn't vote.
Little they knew that a Gingrinch did lurk.
He'd been scheming for years to do evil work.
All the Whos were surprised to find in their house,
a sly grinning rat dressed as a church mouse.
"I'm the Gingrinch," through his sharp teeth he bleated,
"You Whos must be told that hope's been defeated."
The Whos looked around in shock and dismay,
who could have dreamt up such a strange thing to say?
The Gingrinch however took little heed.
He had an agenda. It started with greed.
The Gingrinch then chortled and let out a laugh,
he bellowed and beckoned and brought out his staff.
"This is Jesse, Strom, Alphonse, Bob, Henry and Kay --
we have so much work, we must start today.
We intend to change Christmas, the whole Christmas season.
We've got a new message, we've made a new reason."
The Whos looked surprised at the whole motley crew,
but the Gingrinch insisted they knew what to do.
"Christmas" he said "will now mean so much more."
"Christmas" he said "will mean blaming the poor."
"Its their fault" he sneered "that they face gloom and doom"
"If they had any sense, they'd pick some other womb."
The Whos families held hands, they grimaced and snuggled,
they remembered how hard they had worked and had struggled.
The Gingrinch, however, blabbed on unabated.
He knew what he wanted, he knew who he hated.
"This Head Start" the Gingrinch said ever so slow,
"it may teach kids to think, its the first thing to go."
Then he took away food stamps, job training, student loans,
He heard all the pain, Gingrinch liked to hear groans.
"Next give to the rich, though they've got lots already,
that'll keep my campaign funds rolling in steady."
"And I'm tough on crime, yes that's what I'm sellin',
excepting, of course, any S&L felon."
"And remember, I want to keep you all free.
Let's start by making you pray just like me."
All the Whos were now praying the nightmare would end,
But the Gingrinch kept planning to borrow and spend.
With each falling snowflake, his ideas grew bolder,
and now old Whos remembered his ideas were much older.
"I want bombers and missles, a really good race,
I want tanks and bazookas and lasers in space."
That Christmas in Whoville tested the spirit of Yule,
but children kept learning, despite privatized school.
Who children missed all the animals that could once freely roam,
the Gingrinch had sold off the parks they called home.
Belching pipes now polluted the water and air,
the poor, sick and old couldn't pay for health care.
Yet on Christmas eve, stars shone though the haze,
all the Whos ventured out with a determined gaze.
They held hands and sung out "Who, Who, Hooray!"
"Der flugel, der flugel, callou and callay."
"Welcome Christmas to Whoville, this dark Christmas day."
"Sing of cheer to all Whos, sing of Whos who stop fearing,
The Gingrinch is going, election day's nearing."

    -- posted by Kevin Learned
Categories for this item: Politics, Holidays, Christmas, Gingrich, Dr Seuss -> Humor collection -> How the Gingrinch Stole Christmas