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DETROIT - With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of
the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General
Motors unveiled a new instant-win airbag contest Monday.
The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent,
high-speed impact with another car or stationary object,
will come standard in all of the company's 1998 cars.
"Auto accidents have never been so exciting," said GM
vice-president of marketing Roger Jenkins, who expects the
contest to boost 1998 sales significantly. "When you play
the new GM Instant Win Airbag Game, your next fatal
collision could mean a trip for two to Super Bowl XXXII in
New Orleans. Or a year's worth of free Mobil gasoline."
Though it does not officially begin until Jan. 1, 1998, the
airbag promotion is already being tested in select cities,
with feedback overwhelmingly positive.
"As soon as my car started to skid out of control, I
thought to myself, 'Oh, boy, this could be it-I could be a
big winner!'" said Cincinnati's Martin Frelks, who lost his
wife but won $50 Sunday when the Buick LeSabre they were
driving hit an oil slick at 60 mph and slammed into an
oncoming truck. "When the car stopped rolling down the
embankment, I knew Ellen was dead, but all I could think
about was getting the blood and glass out of my eyes so I
could read that airbag!"
"It's really addictive," said Sacramento, CA, resident
Marjorie Kamp, speaking from her hospital bed, where she is
listed in critical condition with severe brain hemorrhaging
and a punctured right lung. "I've already crashed four cars
trying to win those Super Bowl tickets, but I still haven't
won. I swear, I'm going to win those tickets-even if it
kills me!" Kamp said that as soon as she is well enough,
she plans to buy a new Pontiac Bonneville and drive it into
a tree.
GM officials are not surprised the airbag contest has been
so well received. "In the past, nobody really liked car
wrecks, and that's understandable. After all, they're
scary and dangerous and, sometimes, even fatal," GM CEO
Paul Offerman said. "But now, when you drive a new GM car
or truck, your next serious crash could mean serious cash.
Who wouldn't like that?" Offerman added that in the event a
motorist wins a prize but is killed, that prize will be
awarded to the next of kin.
According to GM's official contest rules, odds of winning
the grand prize, a brand-new 1998 Cutlass Supreme, are 1 in
43,000,000. Statistical experts, however, say the real
chances of winning are significantly worse. "If you factor
in the odds of getting in a serious car accident in the
first place-approximately 1 in 720,000--the actual odds of
winning a prize each time you step in your car are more
like 1 in 31 trillion."
Further, even if one is in an accident, there is no
guarantee the airbag will inflate. "I was recently
broadsided by a drunk driver in my new Chevy Cavalier,"
said Erie, PA, resident Jerry Polaner. "My car was totaled,
and because it was the side of my car that got hit, my
airbag didn't even inflate. But what really gets me is the
fact that the drunk driver, who rammed my side with the
front of his 1998 Buick Regal, won a $100 Office Depot gift
certificate. That's just wrong."
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