netjeff.com Humor collection Mathematician Jokes

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with
a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible
amount of fence. The engineer is first.  He herds the sheep into a
circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will
use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius
around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd,
declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around the
herd." The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little
thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I
define myself to be on the outside!"



A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street
cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other
side of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.  After a
while they notice three persons coming out of the house.

The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it
will be empty again."



An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist went to the races one
Saturday and laid their money down.  Commiserating in the bar after the
race, the engineer says, I don't understand why I lost all my money.  I
measured all the horses and calculated their strength and mechanical
advantage and figured out how fast they could run..."

The physicist interrupted him: "...but you didn't take individual
variations into account.  I did a statistical analysis of their
previous performances and bet on the horses with the highest
probability of winning..."

"...so if you're so hot why are you broke?" asked the engineer.

But before the argument can grow, the mathematician takes out his pipe
and they get a glimpse of his well-fattened wallet.  Obviously here was
a man who knows something about horses.  They both demanded to know his
secret. "Well," he says, between puffs on the pipe, "first I assumed
all the horses were identical and spherical..."

netjeff.com Humor collection Mathematician Jokes